My Fan Fiction Series OUTAKES!
by catherinedoncaster1995
Summary: a series of out takes from my fan fiction twilight series, HIgh Noon, wounded afternoon, Heaven on Earth, Moon and Sun and Tainted Dawn
1. A Date

**Heya guys, so this is just basically a thank you fan fiction for everyone who reviewed and read my fan fiction series, (High Noon - Tainted Dawn) THE SERIES DOES NOT END THERE, but this was just an idea I have had in my had for a while and I thought it was time to publish it!**

**Anyway, tell me what you think!**

**Chapter SONG: Chasing Cars – Snow Patrol**

**Chapter Summary:**

**Anthony and Aimee prepare for their first date. He takes her to a familiar place to his parents, (she doesn't know that he is a half vampire yet, but she is beginning to guess.)**

**Original book: HEAVEN ON EARTH BOOK III**

Anthony POV

I was unsure just how many times I had checked that I looked okay. I was more than sure that dad was getting fed up of my repeated entering into his and mums bedroom, when I kept catching them at different stages of foreplay, to ask if I looked okay.

Normally I would have cringed and wanted to pour bleach into my head at the very thought, but tonight, I was simply more stressed than rational.

The more I thought about my tendencies and nature to panic incessantly, the more I thought I was like my mother, and the more I knew I was going to completely screw up this date.

A _date_, it was sad, but this was my first, and Aimee was perfect.

Okay, so it was cliché and I knew for a fact that everyone thought that about the girl they first dated. But Aimee _was_.

Her laugh was ridiculous; it made you laugh regardless of what mood you were in. I could be irrevocably pissed at something and if she giggled at me, it would take all of my inner strength not to fall on the floor laughing.

Her eyes, the massive brown orbs that I could quite happily swim in for the rest of my forever. Even the _thought_ of swimming with Aimee sparked images of her in a bikini in my brain, and more so I wanted to pour bleach in my skull.

Not so much that it was making parts of me uncomfortable, but when dad banged on the wall that separated our bedrooms and growled at me to stop it, I feared for my life rather than my trousers.

I swallowed and smoothed the front of my shirt down, looking up at myself in the mirror. I sighed; I supposed this was good as it was going to get... if I wanted Aimee, in the human sense, _which I did!_

If I wanted to be with her, as completely as I could, she would have to know.

I would have to tell her, have to reveal our secret, and have to frighten her, to let her know just how dark my soul really was.

Even though the thought was like having my heart ripped from my chest, part of me wanted her to be frightened of me, so she would have a human life without a backward glance, and I would be back to watching from afar.

Could it really be that easy to walk away, even when I hadn't... hadn't really got anything to walk away from? Other than the lopsided friendship me and Aimee had going on, and the impending knife edge of a date that was commencing in half an hour, we had no ties to one another, no relationship... _Nothing._

She wasn't mine, in any way shape or form. I sighed and flopped backwards onto my bed, my hands over my eyes.

The problem was, that although she wasn't mine.

I wanted her to be.

I wanted it more than anything else in the world. It was like ten thousand ropes were tying me to her, and that was what was keeping me grounded, that was what was keeping me on the earth where I belonged.

After all I was a half vampire, and although I knew dad would never, and _had_ never expressed such thoughts aloud. I knew that he was as unsure about a hybrids shot at anything above this earth as he was his own chances.

"Hey." A low voice said from the doorway.

I peeled my hands off of my eyes and sat up when I saw dad stood there, leaning against the frame the picture of ease.

I frowned, "You shouldn't listen to my thoughts. You know how it annoys me."

He sighed, "Yeh you're like your mother for that, me doing things that _annoy_ you."

There was a low hiss from the next room and dad sighed, walking to sit beside me on the bed.

As he moved to sit down he threw something at me.

"Here." He told me as he sat down and I looked down at my hands.

"Its the keys to the vanquish, we don't want you turning up in any crap... like that _thing_ you insist on driving." He muttered at the end.

I frowned, "I owuldnt call a black Humma crap_ or_ a _thing_." I hissed and elbwed his arm.

He sighed and shook his head, "You love her..."

My mouth fell open, "How... you?"

He sighed and clapped me on the shoulder, "I've been around a long time, and heard a lot of peoples thoughts... I've only ever heard my own thoughts mirror your last ones _once_." He smiled to himself and glanced up as mum walked past.

"Not eavesdropping!" She declared and skipped of downstairs.

Dad sighed, "Whatever."

There was a loud thud against the floor from underneath and I assumed mum had thrown something at the living room ceiling to get dad to be quiet.

I sighed; I could only hope to have a marriage like mum and dad's one day... well, maybe not _exactly_ like theirs.

Dad pretended to look hurt, "What exactly are you trying to say?"

My frowned deepened out of stress, "I _didn't say_ anything, you keep reading my mind, you don't like it don't listen."

He let out a breath and clapped me on the shoulder once more, "You'll be fine." He said softly.

I smiled, "Thanks dad."

We hugged in a relatively manly fashion, but the emotion was still there.

We were both men, we didn't do stuff like _hugging_.

He pulled back and looked at the clock, "You'd better leave."  
>I stood up and rushed to the door when he called after me.<p>

"Ant?" He called.

I turned, "Yeh?"

He smiled sadly, "Give you mother a hug and a kiss on the way out."

My eyebrows furrowed, "Why?"

He sighed, "Because your growing up... its your first date... she's a bit emotional."

There was a pause while I shifted uncomfortably.

"And what about you, are you emotional?" I asked.

He stood and walked to meet me in the doorway, leaning closer to breath, "I'm a man, I don't _do_ stuff like that."

I growled, "Dad I _told_ you to stop reading my mind." I yelled as he slunk off down the hall laughing to himself.

"it's not funny!" I shouted and grabbed my coat as I headed off downstairs.

I supposed it depend where you were sitting actually. If this had happened to Renesmee, I would laugh at her, and I was more than sure that dad's reaction to her dating someone would be different.

I heard dad growl from upstairs, "Damn right."

**Let me know what you think, and I am meaning to keep adding to this as a bit of light reef from trying to update my other fan fictions constantly, so you can expect this to be updated more frequently. REVIEW! **

**CatherineDoncaster1995 xx**


	2. Family Meeting

**Chapter SONG: Do You Want To Touch Me – Joan Jet**

**Chapter Summary:**

**Edward decides to call a family meeting about Ellie and Ben. Humour and stress ensues, and Chris receives a surprise from Edward****. **

**Original book: Moon and Sun IV**

Chris POV

It was weird seeing my _family_ sat around like they had just finished watching the Oprah show and were discussing normal things like which topping of pizza would be best suited at a party.

Edward on the other hand, as always, would look like the dominant force he always was, even though he wasn't currently in the same room as me, he was close enough to leave a level of emotion behind him.

Of course the emotions differed from whom you read them. Bella's you could guess, but mine and Anthony's were always nearly on the same lines. Maybe that's why we got on so well, and maybe that is why Edward continued to loathe me.

Safely in my own head, I could admit just how much he frightened the living crap out of me. I walked further into the lounge just as Edward appeared from his office.

He flicked off the TV causing a lot of complaining from Anthony, but he was silenced by his father's glare so quickly I almost missed his mouth stopping moving.

"I'm calling a family meeting." Edward said firmly where he stood in the centre of the room. Bella sighed and crossed her arms and legs, making a show of not going anywhere, even though she was failing the most at pretending to look surprised.

"Erm Edward..." I began nervously as I neared the couch, his eyes snapped up, and I wondered whether what I was doing was _completely_ stupid.

"What?" He snapped and I stopped walking, realising I was stood directly in front of him, and still hadn't said anything.

"Well... seen as I'm not a direct blood family member I was wondering..." I trailed off and his eyes darkened.

"Sit down Chris." He growled.

"Okay okay..." I tried to laugh, "I'll sit down in the none family area." I said and sat beside Aimee. I sore I heard Anthony his and Aimee winked at me, where as Edward just glared.

I let out a nervous breath, "And I'm going to shut up while I sit here."

"Good." Edward snapped and Bella cleared her throat from the other side of the room, raising her eyebrows at Edward when he turned to look at her.

He sighed, turning back to address us all, his hands in his pockets.

"I want to speak to you all about what's been going on with Ellie and _Ben_." He snarled his name in the same way he used to say my name. Okay in truth it was the way I was more than sure he still did.

"Well no shi..." Anthony started when Aimee elbowed him in the ribs.

Edward smiled thankfully at her and Bella rolled her eyes at me and Ness, who just cringed.

Anthony frowned but remained quiet, just as I was intending to.

"it has come to my attention that she is doing more than just _hanging out_ behind my back." He said and sighed, his words still angry but his eyes sad, "Her attitude is appalling and she's being more and more like her moth..." He froze and Bella's head snapped up.

"What?" She demanded.

Edward swallowed and I smiled slightly, but it vanished from my face the very moment Edwards head whipped around the snarl at me, before going back to his wife.

"I just meant that she is displaying some of your traits love..." He trailed off when she stood to glare up at him.

"Like _what_, being _stubborn_?" Bella shouted.

Edward rubbed the tops of her arms and she sighed, flopping down to sit back down on the couch, clearly exhausted from... god I didn't even want to know what.

I gaped at them when it seemed everything to return to calm almost instantly. I wondered how long it had taken him to get her to react like that simply to his touch. If I want so scared of him, I would ask him for tips on how to get Ness off my back when I pissed her off.

His eyes flashed to mine and he smiled he actually smiled, "A while." He answered my first mental question.

"So the point is what in this meeting dad?" Anthony asked and Edward sighed.

"The _point_ is that I want you just to watch her, she's past listening to what I have to say and she's acting like she's twenty eight rather than eighteen." He looked around for agreement and we all nodded.

Actually I was slightly impressed with Edward; he was including me in some family matters. Not that he hadn't ever done it before, it was jus this was out of choice, rather than an emergency, or the fact that Bella had forced him to.

Edward chuckled and turned to smile at me, "What, it's not like I _hate_ you."


	3. Brand of Alcohol

**Chapter SONG: Like a Virgin - Madonna**

**Chapter Summary:**

**Anthony's Bachelor Party in Edward and Bella's kitchen Becomes Innuendo city and it becomes apparent that certain people have been spending too much time with their uncle Emmet. Some characters tease Anthony about being a Virgin.**

**Original book: Moon and Sun Book IV**

Chris POV

I looked from my cards to glance around the make shift poker table that the dining room table had turned into, right down to the low handing light and no other source of it. On paper the idea of bonding with my soon to be father in law and his brothers was petrifying but necessary, and even though I was kind of enjoying myself, I couldn't shake the feeling that Edward was going to kill me if I beat him.

The point in my fears was not really grounded. Edward was telepathic for Christ sake, he would be able to see if I was going to beat him, and he would either fold or threaten me to fold or else.

Either way, I was sure my head would remain on my shoulders.

This was really just a hope, not a fact.

And to top of this treacherous evening, everyone, including Edward... had been drinking.

I had never thought that alcohol could affect vampires in different ways if at all, but apparently it could.

Jasper was the giggling drunk, probably getting off of some of Emmet's high. Emmet was the loud drunk, who drinks loads and got pissed quickly, like most people our age.

Edward on the other hand, drank like an old man. He could put away loads, and didn't appear the slightest bit tipsy.

"Okay Edward, I'll raise you your Volvo keys to the thing I have in this box." Emmet said and pulled something from his pocket, shaking it and putting it in the centre of the table.

Edward's eyes narrowed, "What is it."

Anthony sorted, "Its round and rubber and you have _never_ used one."

Everyone burst out laughing and Edwards teeth ground together. He took another sip of whiskey, and it then dawned on me, that he was making mental note of everyone else's cards in the reflection of their shining eyes and the slip ups in their heads, which weren't guarded thanks to the alcohol.

"Okay okay I'm folding." Jasper laughed and put his cards on the floor.

"What have you got?" I asked.

Emmet giggled, locking eyes with Anthony, "Two queens and a Virgin."

Anthony immediately got defensive and eh slotted into my mental category, cue Anthony, the angry repressed drunk.

"Is it so wrong to want to wait for my wedding night?" He demanded.

Jasper snorted, "You're so like your father."

Edward sighed, "Alright guys come on, this isn't the point in this evening." He reminded us.

I blinked a couple of times, introducing me, the sleepy drunk.

"Just because you were fighting that Bella would laugh at your appendage." Emmet laughed and Edward growled.

Jasper laughed, "Never mind the language of love, little Eddie down there speaks pygmy."

I honestly thought that Emmet and Jasper were going to wet themselves laughing.

Edward was fuming in his seat, and before I had time to process what was going on, the table was halfway across the kitchen by the fridge, we were all sat froze in our seats, except Edward, who was pinning Emmet to the floor and hitting him repeatedly, the deck of cards and chips falling around us in a sort of rain storm.

Edward, now satisfied at reducing his alcohol level quiet considerably, and forcing Emmet to cry and jasper nearly do the same thanks to his empathy tendencies.

My soon to be father in law let out a breath and reached for the fallen box Emmet had produced that had started the whole conversation.

Edward flicked it open and smiled, "Oh, the keys to Rosalie's convertible, she _will_ be pleased." He said and put the keys on his pocket, before turning to walk out of the rom, leaving a comatose me, a crying Emmet, a quaking jasper and a confused Anthony, sitting or laying completely bewildered, until Emmet whispered.

"I take it Edward won."

The annoying thing was, I could have beaten Edward with my cards, but even my competitive side didn't want to mess with Edward, the scitsofrinic drunk.


	4. Spelling

**Chapter SONG: Stupid Cupid – Mandy Moore**

**Chapter Summary:**

**Humour in the Cullen household as Edward tries to convince Bella to take a vacation with him to Isle Esme. Set when Charlie is still a baby.**

**Original book: Tainted Dawn Book V**

Renesmee POV

I was sat at the breakfast bar eating my cereal next to Chris and Aimee watching mum and dad _discuss_ something. If anything it looked like we were watching them perform something, for we were all chewing far too slowly, our eyes following them rather than focusing on what our spoon was picking up.

No offense to the person who invented bran flakes, but watching mum and dad try not to argue us much more interesting.

"Edward I just don't see why we need to take a vacation with just the two of us." Mum said as she washed the dishes in the sink.

Dads eyebrows went high where he was leaning against the fridge watching her, "You're kidding me right?"

Mum sighed and shrugged, causing dad to groan and her to look at him over her shoulder.

"Don't tell me." He sighed.

"What?" She demanded, all but throwing the towel back on the counter top.

Dad sighed, "You're worried about leaving Charlie here." He said.

Mum glared at him, folding her arms over her chest, "And?"

Dad sighed, "Bella he's old enough to be left with Esme for two days, why can't he stay with her for four?" He asked.

She swallowed and looked down," Because he's my baby."

Dad sighed but this time it was soft rather than harsh. He walked over to her and rubbed the tops of her arms, causing her to sigh and lean into his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist as his own rubbed her back.

"I just don't think the kids are going to be okay with the b-a-b-y." She said just as Anthony walked in.

"Who's Bobbie?" He asked and sat down beside Aimee.

We all looked at him with our mouths open.

I frowned, "The _baby_ Ant."

He scoffed and pouted himself a drink, "Jesus Ness his name is Charlie."

Dad sighed and rested his forehead against mums.

"I think your right; with our luck Anthony will trade him for a milky way."


	5. Verbal Spar

**Chapter SONG: Who's that Chick – Rhianna **

**Chapter Summary:**

**Edward witnesses Bella having an argument with a fellow pupil. **

**Original book: Tainted Dawn Book V**

Edward POV

I walked into the nearly empty classroom to see Bella still sat at her desk. She was packing her bag while another girl stood in front of her, her eyes glistening with anticipation. I knew that something must have been said, for Bella's jaw was locked and her eyes were hard.

I cringed, I knew that look, and I had a feeling that this wasn't going to end well in any sense.

"Edward is mine, I don't need you playing games and making yourself look anymore of an idiotic hor than you already are." Bella said calmly and stood.

My mouth fell open. What had my wife just said?

Lauren Mallory's Granddaughter stiffened and bristled.

"I don't know what you mean." She snapped.

Bella laughed coyly, "Edward and the boys in my family are the only few you haven't had your mitts on this side of last week, tell me, what _does_ coach Clap look like naked?"

I couldn't believe Bella was stood there saying this.

Emmet and Jasper as well as my children had joined me to observe in the doorway, and as the girl continued to say just what she thought of Bella, and how she thought that Bella was indeed the hor who had a need to have sex every five minutes, Bella's head whipped around her eyes turned black.

"Excuse me?" She growled.

The girl scoffed, "What, to many long words."

Bella stepped closer, "Well I've got two shorter words for you."

The girl took a step away, "Oh yeh."

Bella nodded and smirked, locking eyes with me in the doorway before looking back at the girl.

I frowned, had she known that I was there all along?

Bella smiled, "We're married." She stressed and flickered her right hand in front of the girls face. I saw her wedding band gleam in the light and I breathed a smiled as Bella stepped around the gaping girl to take my hand.

She stretched up on her toes to kiss me and I whispered in her ear.

"You're very sexy when you're mad." I smiled.

She kissed me hard, "You haven't seen anything yet."


	6. Sad

**Chapter SONG: What if – Kate Winslet**

**Chapter Summary:**

**Anthony comforts Aimee after her mother doesn't come to their wedding dinner.**

**Original book: Moon and Sun Book IV**

Anthony POV

I wrapped my arms around her waist where she was clearing the plates away from the table. Everyone else had gone to bed, but she had stayed up to tidy it, claiming she wasn't tired. I had played along for a while, knowing that really she was just waiting up to see whether her mum phones or just arrived late. But we both knew she wasn't coming.

Deep down we both knew she didn't care.

"I'm sorry baby." I whispered and she sniffed.

"Why should you be sorry, I'm not?" She cried and pushed away from me, moving to stack more pates. Her ears and mascara were mixing with her hair and it broke my heart to see her like it.

"Aimee ..." I whispered.

"No Ant its okay... you know, it's not like I'm still eight years old, waiting up at night for her to come in from whichever boyfriends house she was at that evening, you know I grew up just fine by myself more or less." She snapped and I knew that the sadness was being pushed aside or her anger.

I also knew the tears would come again, but I knew even more that she need to feel what she was feeling in her own way. That her grief for her relationship with her mother needed to run its course, rather than me interfering with how I would deal with it.

"I know." I whispered but she didn't seem to hear me.

"You know who needs her?" She cried. "She wasn't there to teach me how to read, no the man on the TV and the teachers at school did that... and I got pretty good at reading didn't I?" She demanded, the tears still streaming.

I nodded silently in response.

"Exactly." She snapped and sniffed, "She wasn't there to teach me to drive, how to paint, to watch me go on my first date, to scream when I got engaged..."

She trailed off and let out a small sob. I walked forwards again to hug her but she spoke again, freezing me in my tracks.

"One day we could have kids Anthony, after we're married and I'm your wife. And I won't ever need her then because I'm going to be a better mother to our kids than she _ever_ was to me, because there isn't a dam thing that she could teach me about how to love my own _kids_!" She shouted at me, tears streaming. "I don't need her and she... _she_..."

The rears were pouring now and she was shaking, quivering trying to keep it all together.

I reached out to take her in my arms and she fell against my chest sobbing into my shirt as I franticly tried to calm her.

"Why doesn't she love me Anthony." She sobbed and I swallowed my own tears in my eyes as I sunk under her weight. I sat on the floor with her in a ball crying against my shirt.

I stroked her hair and gave her my honest answer.

"I don't know Aimee... I don't know." I whispered.

And it was the truth, for the life of me I couldn't think how anyone couldn't love Aimee, especially not her own mother.


	7. Inferior

**Chapter SONG: Who is it – Michael Jackson**

**Chapter Summary:**

**Edward drives Aimee home after picking her cousin up from the airport.**

**Original book: Moon and Sun Book IV**

Edward POV

My hands were tight on the steering wheel as we wormed our way up towards the house. I was letting the Volvo crawl slowly, not at all my usual way of driving. However I thought it best that I give Aimee the chance to say whatever she needed to her cousin before she got out if the car.

I sighed and leant back in my seat, knowing it had indeed been a really good idea _not _to let Anthony come.

I glanced up in the rear-view mirror to see Aimee turn her head away from her cousin, leaning her head against the window as tars slid silently down her face.

I frowned, listening to the way poppy screamed and ranted at her, and I seconded my thoughts on letting my son accompany us.

"I mean just look at you, look at your _hair_!" Poppy shouted. "What all of a sudden you have just _decided_ that you like having your hair straight, you used to care what was inside your head instead of on it!"

Aimee didn't say anything, she didn't even move.

Poppy grabbed Aimee's handbag from beside her feet in the foot well, she handled it like it was dirt. Aimee glanced at her and snatched it off of her, before resuming staring out of the window.

"You _have___one of those bags?" Poppy laughed, "Oh my god, you used to yell at me for buying bags like that but now... I mean come on I get it he's loaded but sheesh, you've changed Aimee." She snapped and flung open her car door and stormed up to the house.

I silently got out and waited for Aimee who followed much slower, pulling her bag over her shoulder. The bag that Anthony had bought her for her birthday earlier that year.

"Was it my imagination or was someone tearing up back there?" I asked softly.

She swallowed and wiped her eyes, "I'm fine."

I sighed, "Okay then I won't say anything to Anthony. But you should know, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

She looked up at me and smiled sadly, "Eleanor Roosevelt said that."

I smiled, "She did, another special lady like yourself."

She hugged me and I patted her back gently, in the way I comforted all of my children.  
>"Thank you Edward." She whispered.<p>

I smiled, "its okay."


	8. Muffin Shop

**Chapter SONG: Bad – Michael Jackson**

**Chapter Summary:**

**Edward kicks off in his Religious studies lesson**

**Original book: Tainted Dawn Book V**

Edward POV

My arms were folded firmly over my chest, me glaring at the teacher who was speaking about god and pointing at pictures as if he had actually _met_ him. A low snarl left my lips as he spoke of the reasons we should all believe.

My wife snapped her head around to glare at me and I swallowed back the snarl that was bubbling in the back of my throat. Although my eyes and body language remained like stone, her hand on my thigh made other parts of my body harden.

"Mr Cullen is there something wrong?" Mr Riley asked.

I shook my head, not trusting my voice enough to speak rather than growl.

"Well could you please enlighten me as to why you are not enjoying my lesson?" He demanded.

I let out a breath, "I don't believe in god, and I _don't_ believe I should be forced to sit here and listen to _you_." I snarled.

Bella smacked the back of my thigh with err foot and Renesmee and Chris, who sat on the same table as us, sank slightly in their seats at the way I had just addressed the teacher.

"Pardon?" Mr Riley asked, slightly baffled.

I leant forwards in my seat, elbows and arms arresting on my unopened exercise book.

"Not _everyone_ believes in god, that is like saying everyone likes muffins, now I'm sure that some people may not like muffins, but most people do." I said simply, "Tell me Mr Riley, do you like muffins."

His face hardened as he placed the bible on his desk, keeping his hand on it as he replied. "I have never tried a muffin."

I could have sworn my daughters jaw dropped open, "Really?"

He nodded at her before turning back to me.

"I am however full of the holy spirit, and allow others to believe because of my religion, what can you say about your beliefs Mr Cullen?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.

I wanted so badly to stand up, but I knew this would be bad.

"My beliefs?" I clarified.

He only nodded in reply.

"I may not believe in god, and I may not be full of the Holy Spirit, but at least I'm not full of _crap_." I stressed and everyone in the room, Bella included, gasped.

"Edward." She hissed.

"What!" Mr Rile exclaimed.

This time, I _did _ stand.

"_Everybody_, has tried a muffin, lying about it surely is a sin sir?" I asked.

He glared at me, "Return to your seat."

"Oh come on sir, don't tell us you've never lied before... oh wait a minute, maybe you have!" I declared, "Perhaps your beliefs are all fake to... have you ever attended mass in Forks?"

"Of course I have." He snapped.

I shook my head, "Nah I doubt it. You probably spend your Sundays, the _holy _day, watching soccer on a flat screen in a _Muffin_ _shop!_" I shouted and he glared at me where we were stood glaring at one another not a foot apart in the centre of the classroom.

"I'll see you after class Mr Cullen." He said firmly.

I smirked, "_amen_."

He fumed to himself as I sat back in my seat and re folded my arms, moving one of them to draw a cross over myself. Before I clasped my hands together and bent forwards in prayer.

I could feel Bella's anger rippling off of her.

"Mr. Cullen what are you doing?" Mr. Riley demanded.

I glanced up and locked eyes with him, my lips curving back over my teeth.

"Praying for your soul."


	9. Driving

**Chapter SONG: Driving in my car - Madness**

**Chapter Summary:**

**Chris complains of Anthony's driving to Bella.**

**Original book: Tainted Dawn Book V**

Bella POV

I looked up at Edward who walked into the kitchen over to where I was sat on the laptop.

"Would you like me to print off your apology letter... oh sorry, I mean statement of regret?" I raised an eyebrow at the change he had made in the title. I tried not to frown as he wrapped his arms around me and kissed y neck. If he thought he was getting off _that_ easily for the way he behaved in religious studies he was going to be mistaken.

"yes please." He sighed when it became obvious he wasn't getting anywhere with his sexual act.

I clicked the button and leant to pull the printed sheet out of the printer. I handed it to Edward along with an envelope.

"Don't forget to get Esme to sign it." I reminded him and he smirked at me, leaning down to kiss me.

"Don't wait up." He whispered.

I sighed and nodded, hating him to leave even if it was for something as necessary as hunting.

"bag a few mountain lions for me." I said, trying to sound optimistic.

He smiled and cupped my cheek," I bet you don't even remember when you started saying that to me." He breathed thoughtfully.

I sighed, "You'd better get going, or Emmet will be round assign for you."

He kissed my head and rubbed my back before giving me a quick peck on the lips before walking towards the kitchen door.

"Can you check on Charlie for me on your way out please?" I called.

He nodded and I heard him move up the stairs towards our son's room.

Edward then continued downstairs after giving our son a quick kiss and cuddle, before sticking his head around the kitchen door to smile at me.

"He's sound asleep love; I'll be back in a few hours." He winked.

I smiled and blew him a kiss, which he pretended to catch and put it close to his heart. I rolled my eyes and listened to him chuckle and leave out of the front door, as well as the other voices I could hear growing louder as they came in the back.

"I can't believe it took us forty five minutes to get home Ant, school is like three miles away!" Chris snapped as he dumped his bag down and opened the fridge to produce himself a can of Coke.

I laughed, "I know who knew it traffic jams in Forks?"

Chris frowned and pointed jaggedly at Antony who was making himself Coffee.

"It had nothing to do with Traffic Jams Bella, it was _his_ driving, there were people in walkers passing us he was driving that slowly!" He exclaimed and Anthony spun.

"Okay that is not true." He shouted.

Chris raised his eyebrows, "An old man flicked you the finger man!"

Anthony bristled, "That mans name is Robert Barnes and he wasn't swearing at me, he was waving the man _has_ arthritis."

Chris groaned and rolled his eyes before turning and walking upstairs, slamming his and Renesmee bedroom door before moaning to her about her brother.

Aimee must have passed him on the stairs because before I knew it she was in the room, walking over to wrap her arms around Anthony who was leaning against the counter fuming.

"What's wrong babe?" She asked and kissed between his shoulder blades.

Anthony growled, "Chris needs to be put down."

"I heard that!" Chris yelled from upstairs.


	10. Tv In the Bathroom

**Chapter SONG: Beep – The Pussycat Dolls**

**Chapter Summary:**

**Anthony observes Aimee as she tires on outfits for their engagement dinner**

**Original book: Moon and Sun IV**

Anthony POV

I watched from where I had been sat on the end of the bed half an hour ago as my fiancée tried on another dress. In my honest opinion all of them looked amazing, well anything would if she wore it, But I knew that if I expressed this specific view she would get mad and accuse me of not paying the correct attention.

She just didn't get it; I was a man, what kind of attention was I supposed to pay when she was repeatedly getting dressed and undressed?

She turned to look at me with her hands on her hips, "Anthony?"

I blinked a couple of times before feigning innocence, "yes?

She frowned, "You haven't been paying attention at all have you?"

I raised my eyebrows, "Of course I have, I know that each of the dresses you are trying on were bought for you by mum and that they all cost over two hundred dollars." I stated.

She folded her arms, "And?"

I stood up, "And I think that we could afford to get a TV in the bathroom for that."

"We aren't getting a TV in the bathroom."

"Then I am moving the toilet into the bedroom." I stated and she glared hard.

I sighed and flopped back to my original position on the bed, making a show f onto moving.

When she was happy she turned back to look at herself in the mirror.

"So what do you _really_ think? Does it apply to the non slut rule?" She demanded.

I frowned, this time genuinely confused, "The what?"

She spun to look at me, "The no slut rule. For every year you are over sixteen you add half a centimetre to the hem of your skirt."

I sighed and stood moving to pulled her into a hug and then cup her face in my hands.

"You never have and never will look like a slut." I stated, "And I wouldn't worry about that rule to much anyway, if it were true, every other woman in the family would be dragging around a Persian rug by now."

There were several growls and hisses from around me as Mum, along with Aunt Rose and Aunty Alice, who were trying on their dresses, took offence to what I had just said.

Aimee giggled and looked up at me, her arms around my waist.

"I'll remind you of that when we are both a hundred."

I smiled and leant in to kiss her, "I'll hold you to that."


	11. Sex

**Chapter SONG: When I grow up - The Pussycat Dolls**

**Chapter Summary:**

**Anthony and Chris question Edward about his sex life. **

**Original book: Tainted Dawn**

Edward POV

I sighed as the conversation that had been going on for well over half an hour, reached the point where I knew I would have no choice but to become a part of it.

"Dad is it true that your sex life diminishes as you get older?" My son asked.

I looked up from where I had been reading in my arm chair, to where they were sat on the sofa watching TV.

"What?" I asked, praying to god that I had mis heard but knowing I hadn't.

"I was just worried about what eternity might mean if it does?" Anthony continued.

I sighed, "No that isn't true for me and tour mother, let's just say the saints are still marching in."

Anthony frowned, "You don't have to over exaggerate."

My eyebrows went high, "Who's exaggerating? Listen on this topic I speak the truth honest, you could set your clock by me." I said.

Anthony folded his arms, "Yeh if we set it every twenty years."

I sat up, putting the book down, "Look if you guys are having trouble putting out I'm sure I could give you tips."

Anthony looked like he was going to be sick and Chris went straight into the defensive.

"No it's not that, I and Ness are great, thanks for asking." He stuttered and my face hardened as he spoke of my daughter in this way.

Anthony started to speak then, "Yeh me and Aimee are great also, I always know when she's in the mood because she gives me this little sideways smile."

I frowned as he pulled the side of his face up into an expression i was sure Aimee had _never_ pulled.

"Maybe that's her telling you to hurry up and get it over with." Chris commented and Anthony hit him hard across the shoulder.

I sighed, "Looks aren't needed in mine and your mothers relationship."

Anthony raised an eyebrow, "You mean you don't look at one another when you're doing it?"

I growled and leant forwards to give him some choice words when my wife walked into the room.

My arms folded over my chest as I leant back in my seat, not wanting to ignore her completely but letting it be known that I wasn't her best friend at the moment. I was still more than pissed about her letting Ellie spend the night at Bens without my knowledge.

My wife held a bowl of chips out to me which she had been eating, "Edward do theses seem old to you?" She asked.

I glared at her, "You are what you eat."

Everyone including my newly arrived daughter and daughter in law gasped.

Bella bristled and put the chips in my lap, before straightened and gesturing Anthony without tearing her eyes away from mine.

"Fine, Anthony give your father his dose of miserable bastard." She snapped and flitted from the rom.


	12. Busy

**Chapter SONG: If I didn't have you - From the film quest for Camelot**

**Chapter Summary:**

**More humour from the Cullen family as Anthony expresses his views on what the meaning of life actually is. **

**Original book: Tainted Dawn**

Edward POV

"Do you ever think about Space?" Anthony asked me abruptly where we had all been sat around watching the television, each of us discretely fondling our partners, apart from Chris, who was keeping his hands to himself. It was the fact that he wanted to keep his limbs I think, that was restring him from groping my daughter in front of me.

I blinked and looked at me son, "Pardon?"

Anthony sat up straighter "Does space have an end, I mean, or does it just keep going on forever and ever. I mean, if you had a spaceship, could you just go for infinity and never find the end?"

I frowned at him, "Why don't you try it and find out?"

For once my sarcastic tone did nothing to deter my son, who stopped feeling his wife to address me properly, like he thought I might start caring where this conversation went if he did so.

"I'm serious dad, and what if it does have an end, what's there, what's happening?" He breathed.

Bella moaned from where I was kissing her neck, sensing that I was too occupied to reply, "Oh shut up Anthony you'll give yourself a migraine."

"Mum!" He gasped, "But what about the beginning of time, what was there before that, was there no time, was there nothing, come on this doesn't bother anyone see, this doesn't keep you all up at night!" He shouted and looked around to see everyone else kind enough to pretend to be watching the TV rather than him or me and his mother practically dry humping one another on the couch.

He turned around to look at me again, "Dad?"

I sighed and pulled my wife over my shoulder, her giggling and slipping her hands under the seat of my jeans.

"I'm busy doing other things at night." I said firmly and made a mad dash up the stair as my children cringed and groaned.


End file.
